It is amazing what happens when you learn how to be on the same page with someone. The goal of marriage is oneness. We attempt to be two people who are connected as one. Well, how do you become one with someone? How is oneness defined?
Oneness:
1. the quality of being one; singleness.
2. uniqueness.
3. sameness; identity.
4. unity of thought, feeling, belief, aim, etc.; agreement; concord.
5. a strong feeling of closeness or affinity; union: He feels a oneness with god.
So, from dictionary.com, oneness is unity of thought, feeling, belief, aim, etc. And in marriage if the goal is oneness then we need to constantly be united, constantly unwavering, and constantly in agreement,believing in one another.
Well, if this is the case then what is marriage?
Marriage:
1. a. the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
b. a similar institution involving partners of the same gender: gay marriage.2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.
3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.
4.a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage.
5.any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of words and music in a hit song.
6. a formal agreement between two companies or enterprises to combine operations, resources, etc., for mutual benefit; merger.
7. a blending or matching of different elements or components: The new lipstick is a beautiful marriage of fragrance and texture.
8. Cards . a meld of the king and queen of a suit, as in pinochle. Compare royal marriage.
9. a piece of antique furniture assembled from components of two or more authentic pieces.
10.Obsolete . the formal declaration or contract by which act a man and a woman join in wedlock.
Now, as we see marriage in comparison to oneness, only some of the definitions are the same. This idea developed explains why so many people take up issue with marriage in the first place. Do two people go into marriage with the the same definition? Do they have the same understanding? Do they even take the time out from the beginning to discuss what marriage really means to one another? Most couples do not take this time and jump in head first into an institution that will last their lifetime. In generally carnal arrangements marriage is simply a contact. It is very similar to a business contract that helps to determine the sharing of assets and material things. It has nothing to do with Love and nothing to do with the bliss that we say we have when we are in the process of getting married.
Moving on to arranged marriages. Are they any better or worse? At least from their beginning they know what they are in for. They know their purpose in the arrangement. They are fully aware of the contract of marriage and what it’s terms entail. So, why do the rest of us get married? Why do the rest of us want to fight over money, sex and family. We ultimately fail because of communication. I know for a fact that the biggest issues all ly around not knowing what your partner wants. Some of us have a hard enough time figuring out what it is that we want. Well, I want to be loved, cherished, celebrated, humbled, pleasured, and most importantly of them all I want to be respected for who I am.
As long as we lead our lives and our marriages toward oneness we shall accomplish all of these things. But, understand it takes time. Time to make mistakes, time to make corrections and time to get it all right. All that matters is the commitment and dedication to get it right!
I am committed, I am dedicted, I am all yours, I am YOUR LOVE!